Much as I am now

"And then?" "I helped and we chased all over the place after them papers. When we sat down to get our breath back, he told me he was a student. He was ever so clever. Can't re-member what the devil it was he was studyin'. Somethin' I'd never heard of then or since." "Why didn't you marry him?" "Marry him? Good Lord, Leanna, I wasn't ready to marry and he wasn't the type I'd have wanted to marry by a long shot." "What else did he look like, Mom?" "Lord, stop the questions, child. Get some sleep." She saw my disappointment however, and said she would write it all down for me. Put it in an envelope to open when she was dead and gone. I was happy with that. On a wet, slick highway, driving to France for a weekend, she was involved in an accident and died instantly. I was twenty-three then and on my own feet but as I sorted through and packed up the belongings in her flat, I felt like a child again. I looked for the envelope but didn't find one. For a long time after, my mother's death and not knowing who my father was, made me feel as though I was drifting on a sea without horizons. One lunchtime I just decided to brave it and ask Malcolm who I reminded him of. "Met her while I was a student," he said. "Was she studying too?" "Oh, heavens, no. That was what attracted me to her. She was ... so different." "What were you like?" I asked. "Like? Much as I am now. Nose in books, bit of a loner. Not very interesting. Not for a live wire like she was." "Go on," I said. "She fell pregnant. I was very happy until she told me she didn't want my help. Thought she'd change her mind, though, as the pregnancy advanced but when I attempted to see her, she told me to leave her be. I was very hurt but accepted her refusal to involve me. A few months later, I took a job I'd been offered in New York. Salary was dreadful but I thought it would be for the best." "Was it? " I asked. "No. When I returned, they'd moved. Left no forwarding address."

gave it to his daughter

but not
to you. No one else is more
harsh and selfish and least
solicitous and considerate than you.
I sincerely want to let you know
what I said is true. Please do me a favor by
ending our relations and refrain from
writing me a reply. Your letter is always full of
things which displease me. You have no
sincere care for me. So long! Please believe
I don’t love you any longer. Don’t think
I still have a love of you!

Having read the letter, the father felt relieved and gave it to his daughter with a light heart. The girl also felt quite pleased after she read it carefully, her lad still had a deep love for her. Do you know why? In fact, she felt very sad when she read the letter for the first time. But she read it for a few more times and , at last, she found the key – only every other line should be read, that is the first line, the third, the fifth … and so on to the end.

green budding

like the subtle fresh green budding from the branches of the tree -- the herald of spring, ushering in the dawn...

I like the subtle flow of cloud that makes the sky seem even more vast, azure and immense...

I like the subtle wind. In spring, it steals a kiss on my cheek; in autumn, it caresses my face; in summer, it brings in cool sweet smell; in winter, it carries a crisp chilliness...

I like the subtle taste of tea that last long after a sip. The subtle bitter is what it is meant to be...

Looking up

Looking up, Lisa could see her pain reflected in the man's eyes. For the first time in months she didn't feel alone, she felt the unbearable burden begin to lift from her, only a bit but it was a start. She began to believe that maybe she had a future after all and maybe it could be with this man, with his kind hazel eyes, wet with their shared tears.

They had come here to dissolve their marriage but maybe there was hope. Lisa stood up and took James by the hand and led him away from the bar towards the beech where they had made their vows to each other three years ago. Tomorrow she would cancel the divorce; tonight they would work on renewing their promises.

a few years

But that seemed such a long time ago now. A lot can change in just a few years - a lot of heartache can change a person and drive a wedge through the strongest ties, break even the deepest love. Three years to the day and they had returned, though this time not for the beachside marriages the island was famous for but for one of its equally popular quickie divorces.

Lisa let out a sigh that was filled with pain and regret. What could she do but move on, find a new life and new dreams? - the old one was beyond repair. How could this beautiful place, with its lush green coastline, eternity of azure blue sea and endless sands be a place for the agony she felt now?

he smiled in return

"So you never knew whether it was a boy or ...? " "A girl?" asked Malcolm. I nodded. "A boy," he said. "Had the approximate date and went to the Registry of Births to look it up." I sat there, trying to take in what Malcom had said. I felt as though I'd been flattened by a truck. "Somewhere out there I have a child I know nothing about," Malcom continued. "I was stupid. Rushed off instead of staying to have a share in my son's life." "I thought perhaps it was a daughter." "Beg your pardon?" "A daughter. Me." "You thought I was ... your father?" "Books, curry, I'm tall. We ... we like the same things." "We definitely have things in common but I'm not your father." He looked at me. "I'm so sorry to disappoint you, Leanna." I tried to smile. "We're not related but we can be something else." "What?" "Can't you think of anything?" "Uh uh." "Friends." "Friends?" "It's been staring you in the face for weeks." Malcolm's use of that phrase made me burst out laughing. "Let me in on the joke sometime," he said. "Okay," I said. "Tell you sometime seeing we're friends." Then I smiled. And my smile was as wide and warm as the one he smiled in return.

I once expressed

There once lived a lad who was deeply in love with a girl, but disliked by the girl’s father, who didn’t want to see any further development of their love. The lad was eager to write to the girl, yet he was quite sure that the father would read it first. So he wrote such a letter to the girl:

My love for you I once expressed
no longer lasts, instead, my distaste for you
is growing with each passing day. Next time I see you,
I even won’t like that look yours.
I’ll do nothing but
look away from you. You can never expect I’ll
marry you. The last chat we had
was so dull and dry that you shouldn’t think it made me eager to see you again.
If we get married, I firmly believe I’ll
live a hard life, I can never
live happily with you, I’ll devote myself