arms towards the shelves

"Love it." "Me too. Settled then?" he asked and smiled his soft smile. It didn't surprise me that I nodded. After the reading and the curry dinner, I went into Malcolm's sitting room where there were more books than I'd ever seen on anyone's shelves. I began to read the titles. "Help yourself," said Malcolm. "Thanks. But if I read a book, I have add it to my collection." "Strange, same here." He waved his arms towards the shelves. "But look where it's got me." "I'd hate to be without books. They're ... friends." "That sounds like lonely," said Malcolm. I turned and pulled out a book. "Are you?" "Am I what?" "Lonely?" I shrugged. "Not really." "Not really but what?" My voice came from a distance as I tried to answer him. "I'm choosy about my friends. Don't have a great many." "I'm listening," said Malcolm and sat down, indicating the armchair opposite him. "My childhood was ... I mean, my mother loved moving around. She had no trouble putting down roots all over the place. I hated it! Books were the constant things, so I buried myself in them." "Hell, sounds familiar." I sat down in the armchair. "I had very academic parents," said Malcolm. "Was an afterthought, perhaps a mistake even. They loved me in their vague intellectual way but left me alone to get on with growing up. Hence the books." "That's lonely, too," I said. When I left, I took along a couple of Malcolm's books. My friendship with Malcolm grew but my curiousity remained. Who did I remind him of? My mother? If so, could he be my father? Although Mom had never bothered with books, our physical similarities, apart from my tallness, were undeniable. She had never told me much about the man who had fathered me. Clever, was all she had usually said. Once though, when I had been ill with chicken pox, and hot and scratchy, she had relented. "What was he like?" "Skinniest man you ever saw." "Where'd you meet him?" "In a park. I was catching a suntan and these papers started blowin' in my face. I was a bit cheesed off at them blowin' all over me and then this man comes runnin'. He grabbed and grabbed but couldn't catch them all. So he jus' stood still, a helpless look on his face. It was so funny, I started laughin'."

Just three dollars

It was a freezing day, a few years ago, when I stumbled upon a wallet in the street. There was no identification inside. Just three dollars, and a crumpled letter that looked as if it had been carried around for years.

The only thing legible on the torn envelope was the return address. I opened the letter and saw that it had been written in 1944 — almost 60 years ago. I read it carefully, hoping to find some clue to the identity of the wallet's owner.

It was a "Dear John" letter. The writer, in a delicate script, told the recipient, whose name was Michael, that her mother forbade her to see him again. Nevertheless, she would always love him. It was signed Hannah.

It was a beautiful letter. But there was no way, beyond the name Michael, to identify the owner. Perhaps if I called information the operator could find the phone number for the address shown on the envelope.

a sharp knife

　　Thus, he asked the 4th wife, “I loved you most, and owed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me company?” “No way!” replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.
　　The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant’s heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, “I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me company?” “No!” replied the 3rd wife. “Life is so good over here! I’m going to remarry when you die!” The merchant’s heart sank and turned cold.
　　He then asked the 2nd wife, “I always turned to you for help and you’ve always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?” “I’m sorry, I can’t help you out this time!” replied the 2nd wife. “At the very most, I can only send you to your grave.” The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.
　　Then a voice called out: “I’ll leave with you. I’ll follow you no matter where you go.” The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, “I should have taken much better care of you while I could have!”

hold people together

I like the subtle friendship that does not hold people together. In stead, an occasional greeting spreads our longings far beyond...

I like the subtle longing for a friend, when I sink deeply in a couch, mind wandering in memories of the past...

Love should also be subtle, without enslaving the ones fallen into her arms. Not a bit less nor a bit more...

Subtle friendship is true; subtle greetings are enough; subtle love is tender; subtle longing is deep; subtle wishes come from the bottom of your heart...

the edge of the palm trees

The man stood watching from the edge of the palm trees. He couldn't take his eyes of the dark-haired woman he saw standing at the water's edge, gazing out to sea as though she was waiting for something - or someone. She was beautiful, with her slim figure dressed in a loose flowing cotton dress, her crazy hair and bright blue eyes not far off the colour of the sea itself. It wasn't her looks that attracted him though; he came across many beautiful women in his work as a freelance photographer. It was her loneliness and intensity that lured him. Even at some distance he was aware that she was different from any other woman he could meet.

Lisa sensed the man approaching even before she turned around. She had been aware of him standing there staring at her and had felt strangely calm about being observed. She looked at him and felt the instant spark of connection she had only experienced once before. He walked slowly towards her and they held each other's gaze. It felt like meeting a long lost friend - not a stranger on a strange beach.

Much as I am now

"And then?" "I helped and we chased all over the place after them papers. When we sat down to get our breath back, he told me he was a student. He was ever so clever. Can't re-member what the devil it was he was studyin'. Somethin' I'd never heard of then or since." "Why didn't you marry him?" "Marry him? Good Lord, Leanna, I wasn't ready to marry and he wasn't the type I'd have wanted to marry by a long shot." "What else did he look like, Mom?" "Lord, stop the questions, child. Get some sleep." She saw my disappointment however, and said she would write it all down for me. Put it in an envelope to open when she was dead and gone. I was happy with that. On a wet, slick highway, driving to France for a weekend, she was involved in an accident and died instantly. I was twenty-three then and on my own feet but as I sorted through and packed up the belongings in her flat, I felt like a child again. I looked for the envelope but didn't find one. For a long time after, my mother's death and not knowing who my father was, made me feel as though I was drifting on a sea without horizons. One lunchtime I just decided to brave it and ask Malcolm who I reminded him of. "Met her while I was a student," he said. "Was she studying too?" "Oh, heavens, no. That was what attracted me to her. She was ... so different." "What were you like?" I asked. "Like? Much as I am now. Nose in books, bit of a loner. Not very interesting. Not for a live wire like she was." "Go on," I said. "She fell pregnant. I was very happy until she told me she didn't want my help. Thought she'd change her mind, though, as the pregnancy advanced but when I attempted to see her, she told me to leave her be. I was very hurt but accepted her refusal to involve me. A few months later, I took a job I'd been offered in New York. Salary was dreadful but I thought it would be for the best." "Was it? " I asked. "No. When I returned, they'd moved. Left no forwarding address."

gave it to his daughter

but not
to you. No one else is more
harsh and selfish and least
solicitous and considerate than you.
I sincerely want to let you know
what I said is true. Please do me a favor by
ending our relations and refrain from
writing me a reply. Your letter is always full of
things which displease me. You have no
sincere care for me. So long! Please believe
I don’t love you any longer. Don’t think
I still have a love of you!

Having read the letter, the father felt relieved and gave it to his daughter with a light heart. The girl also felt quite pleased after she read it carefully, her lad still had a deep love for her. Do you know why? In fact, she felt very sad when she read the letter for the first time. But she read it for a few more times and , at last, she found the key – only every other line should be read, that is the first line, the third, the fifth … and so on to the end.

green budding

like the subtle fresh green budding from the branches of the tree -- the herald of spring, ushering in the dawn...

I like the subtle flow of cloud that makes the sky seem even more vast, azure and immense...

I like the subtle wind. In spring, it steals a kiss on my cheek; in autumn, it caresses my face; in summer, it brings in cool sweet smell; in winter, it carries a crisp chilliness...

I like the subtle taste of tea that last long after a sip. The subtle bitter is what it is meant to be...

Looking up

Looking up, Lisa could see her pain reflected in the man's eyes. For the first time in months she didn't feel alone, she felt the unbearable burden begin to lift from her, only a bit but it was a start. She began to believe that maybe she had a future after all and maybe it could be with this man, with his kind hazel eyes, wet with their shared tears.

They had come here to dissolve their marriage but maybe there was hope. Lisa stood up and took James by the hand and led him away from the bar towards the beech where they had made their vows to each other three years ago. Tomorrow she would cancel the divorce; tonight they would work on renewing their promises.

a few years

But that seemed such a long time ago now. A lot can change in just a few years - a lot of heartache can change a person and drive a wedge through the strongest ties, break even the deepest love. Three years to the day and they had returned, though this time not for the beachside marriages the island was famous for but for one of its equally popular quickie divorces.

Lisa let out a sigh that was filled with pain and regret. What could she do but move on, find a new life and new dreams? - the old one was beyond repair. How could this beautiful place, with its lush green coastline, eternity of azure blue sea and endless sands be a place for the agony she felt now?

he smiled in return

"So you never knew whether it was a boy or ...? " "A girl?" asked Malcolm. I nodded. "A boy," he said. "Had the approximate date and went to the Registry of Births to look it up." I sat there, trying to take in what Malcom had said. I felt as though I'd been flattened by a truck. "Somewhere out there I have a child I know nothing about," Malcom continued. "I was stupid. Rushed off instead of staying to have a share in my son's life." "I thought perhaps it was a daughter." "Beg your pardon?" "A daughter. Me." "You thought I was ... your father?" "Books, curry, I'm tall. We ... we like the same things." "We definitely have things in common but I'm not your father." He looked at me. "I'm so sorry to disappoint you, Leanna." I tried to smile. "We're not related but we can be something else." "What?" "Can't you think of anything?" "Uh uh." "Friends." "Friends?" "It's been staring you in the face for weeks." Malcolm's use of that phrase made me burst out laughing. "Let me in on the joke sometime," he said. "Okay," I said. "Tell you sometime seeing we're friends." Then I smiled. And my smile was as wide and warm as the one he smiled in return.

I once expressed

There once lived a lad who was deeply in love with a girl, but disliked by the girl’s father, who didn’t want to see any further development of their love. The lad was eager to write to the girl, yet he was quite sure that the father would read it first. So he wrote such a letter to the girl:

My love for you I once expressed
no longer lasts, instead, my distaste for you
is growing with each passing day. Next time I see you,
I even won’t like that look yours.
I’ll do nothing but
look away from you. You can never expect I’ll
marry you. The last chat we had
was so dull and dry that you shouldn’t think it made me eager to see you again.
If we get married, I firmly believe I’ll
live a hard life, I can never
live happily with you, I’ll devote myself

rich merchant

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.
　　He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He’s very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.
　　He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant’s confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.
　　Now, the merchant’s 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.
　　One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, “Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I’ll be alone. How lonely I’ll be!”

had lost her baby

Later, sitting at one of the many bars on the resort, sipping the local cocktails they began to talk. First pleasantries, their hotels, the quality of the food and friendliness of the locals. Their conversation was strangely hesitant considering the naturalness and confidence of their earlier meeting. Onlookers, however, would have detected the subtle flirtation as they mirrored each other's actions and spoke directly into each other's eyes. Only later, after the alcohol had had its loosening effect, did the conversation deepen. They talked of why they were here and finally, against her judgement, Lisa opened up about her heartache of the past year and how events had led her back to the place where she had married the only man she believed she could ever love. She told him of things that had been locked deep inside her, able to tell no one. She told him how she had felt after she had lost her baby.

She was six months pregnant and the happiest she had ever been when the pains had started. She was staying with her mother as James was working out of town. He hadn't made it back in time. The doctor had said it was just one of those things, that they could try again. But how could she when she couldn't even look James in the eye. She hated him then, for not being there, for not hurting as much as her but most of all for looking so much like the tiny baby boy that she held for just three hours before the took him away. All through the following months she had withdrawn from her husband, family, friends. Not wanting to recover form the pain she felt - that would have been a betrayal of her son. At the funeral she had refused to stand next to her husband and the next day she had left him.

Return to Paradise

Lisa gazed out over the Caribbean Sea, feeling the faint breeze against her face - eyes shut, the white sand warm between her bare toes. The place was beautiful beyond belief, but it was still unable to ease the grief she felt as she remembered the last time she had been here.

She had married James right here on this spot three years ago to the day. Dressed in a simple white shift dress, miniature white roses attempting to tame her long dark curls, Lisa had been happier than she had ever thought possible. James was even less formal but utterly irresistible in creased summer trousers and a loose white cotton shirt. His dark hair slightly ruffled and his eyes full of adoration as his looked at his bride to be. The justice of the peace had read their vows as they held hands and laughed at the sheer joy of being young, in love and staying in a five star resort on the Caribbean island of the Dominican Republic. They had seen the years blissfully stretching ahead of them, together forever. They planned their children, two she said, he said four so they compromised on three (two girls and a boy of course); where they would live, the travelling they would do together - it was all certain, so they had thought then.

chinese story - 12

　So Zhou Zhi sailed to the Bashan Mountains.
　　Next day Du Yu directed the army and the marine forces in a simultaneous advance.
　　the scouts reported： “The Ruler of Wu has sent the land force under Wu Yan, the navy
under Lu Jing, and the vanguard under Sun Xin！”
　　Du Yu led his forces forward. the vanguard of Wu, under Sun Xin, came up, and at the
first encounter Du Yu's army retired. Sun Xin landed his marines and pursued. But in the
midst of the pursuit a signal bomb sounded, and Sun Xin was attacked on all sides by the Jin
troops. He tried to retire, but the army he had been pursuing, Du Yu's force, turned back
too and joined in the attack. Wu's losses were very heavy, and Sun Xin hastened back to the
city. But the eight hundred Jin soldiers of Zhou Zhi mingled with the Wu army at the
ramparts and so entered the gates. The Jin soldiers raised signal fires on the walls.
　　This maneuver amazed Sun Xin, and he said, “the northern troops had surely flown across
the river into the city！”
　　Sun Xin made an effort to escape, but the leader of Jin, Zhou Zhi, unexpectedly appeared
and slew him.
　　Admiral Lu Jing of the Wu fleet of that had accompanied Sun Xin saw on the south shore,
in the Bashan Mountains, a GREat standard bearing the name Jin General Who Guards the South
Du Yu. Lu Jing became alarmed and landed to try to escape, but the Jin General Zhang Shang
soon found and slew him.
　　At his position at Jiangling, Wu Yan heard of these defeats and knew his position was
untenable, so he fled. However, he was soon captured and led into the presence of the
victorious general.
　　“No use sparing you,” said Du Yu, and he sentenced the prisoner to death.
　　Thus Jiangling was captured and all the counties along the River Xiang and River Yuan as
far as Huangzhou, which surrendered at the first summons.
　　Du Yu sent out officers to soothe the people of the conquered counties, and they
suffered nothing from the soldiery. Next he marched toward Wuchang, and that city also
yielded. So the glory of Du Yu became very GREat. He then summoned his officers to a council
to decide upon attacking Capital Jianye.
　　Hu Fen said, “A one-century rebellion will not be reduced completely at once. the time
of the spring rise of waters is near, and our position is precarious. We should do well to
await the coming spring.”
　　Du Yu replied, “In the days of old, Yue Yi overcame the powerful state Qi in one battle
in Jixi. Our prestige is now high and success certain, easy as the splitting of a bamboo,
which seems to welcome the knife after the first few joints have been overcome. We shall
meet no GREat opposition.”
　　So Du Yu gave orders to the various leaders to move in concert against the capital land
of Jianye.
　　Now the Jin leader Wang Jun had gone down the river with his naval force. From his
scouts he heard of the iron chains and the hammers that had been laid in the river to hinder
his proGREss. But he only laughed. He constructed great rafts of timber and placed on them
straw effigies of soldiers in armors and sent them down river with the current. The
defenders of Wu took them for real troops and, alarmed by their numbers, fled in panic. Then
the great hammers and chains were dragged away as the rafts drifted on. Moreover, on the
rafts they laid great torches many fathoms long, and very thick, made of straw soaked in
linseed oil. When the raft was checked by a chain, the torches were lighted and the chains
exposed to the heat till they melted and broke asunder. Thus the rafts went down stream
conquering wherever they came.
　　then the Prime Minister of Wu, Zhang Ti, sent two leaders, General of the Left Army Shen
Zong and General of the Right Army Zhuge Xing, to try to check the advance of the armies.
　　Shen Zong said to his colleague, “the forces above have failed to stop the enemy, and
the enemy will surely come here. We shall have to put forth all our strength. If haply we
can succeed, the safety of our South Land is assured. But suppose we fight and lose the
battle, then is our country lost.”
　　“Sir, you only say what is too true,” said Zhuge Xing.
　　Just as they talked of these matters came reports of the approach of their enemies in
irresistible force. The two leaders were seized with panic and went back to see the Prime
Minister.
　　“Our country is lost！” cried Zhuge Xing. “Why not run？”